Itaiku nai
by Strawberryshiba
Summary: Misaki is an entertainer, working as a singer and dancer. He meets his new manager Usami Akihiko. Is this the downfall of Misaki?
1. Chapter 1: I Found You

My parents had always wanted me to be the lead of the family and inherit the family's fortune. However I was born a female, and the inheritance goes to my second youngest brother. My sisters had no feeling against it but for me, it hurt a lot.

When I was in high school, it was my looks that made everyone shunt away from me and it hurt so much. A few years went by and I changed sex. My puberty period went pass. I grew taller, my shoulders broaden and I wasn't ugly anymore. Males and females swarmed over me, most of them were college students and working adults. "so, people leave me in my failure and want me in my success.. such cruel people." I hated heartless people.

I planned to get back at them. By flinging around with men and women. Dating a few at one time and after i had enough play time, I left them in the dumps. " its their fault for coming near me." yes, that was my only reason.

I became a male. It brings so much satisfaction to see people literally begging for you. " heartless people must suffer like how I did."

3 years went by, I became 23 years of age. Currently working in a entertainment company. My strength was in music, drawing, singing and dancing. The only reason I became successful was because I used many people as my stepping stones. "they deserved it."

"Misaki, I want you to meet up with your new manager. Usami Akihiko. At the nearest station. "Yes director." Little do I know about this man. Reaching there, I realised that it wasn't going to be easy to find him, I forgotten that the nearest subway was connected to many underground paths. Suddenly a big and heavy hand landed on my shoulder. It shocked me greatly. Hopefully it isn't any fan-girls that have spotted me now I'd be in trouble. I turned around like it cost my life. "Hey, are you the new entertainer that I am partnering with?" This man, standing right in front of me, is beautiful. For the first time ever, my heart felt a sharp pain.

"yes, are you Akihiko-san?"

"yes"

"oh, great to see you ! I am Misaki Takahiro. Misaki is fine."

"Its my pleasure to meet you too, Misaki, you may call me what you like"

"shall we go back now? I think the director is waiting."

"Of course." he said with a smiling face.

Never once, i saw a person smiling so genuinely, his voice is very comfortable and I don't feel awkward around him like the other people i fling around with. This is odd. What is this feeling?

"soo, Reshi, where did you come from?"

"Come from? If you mean homeland, it would be Osaka."

"I see, it must have been a long Journey for you. Thank you for making time."

"It is worth it after seeing a beauty like you." His hand lifted my chin up and we were having an eye contact.

I felt my face turning red and burning hot, my heart thumping faster. Usami smiled at me again and caressed my hair. I immediately turned my head away and started walking briskly. What is this feeling again. Its so foreign. Its so painful but it is also feeling good. Who is this guy, a head half taller than me, Silver hair, pruple eyes and a charismatic aura. Who is he?

"welcome back ! That took you long enough"

"sorry for the wait, Misaki and I were having a conversation. Right?"

"uhh, yeah."

"well, that can't be helped then. Lets get started. Miskai, brief Akihiko-san on the company"

"yes, director"

"ok, Usami, this company is simple. Make me famous, earn money and we'll be worshiped here. But, there are basic rules and regulations. Do you know them?"

"Like all house rules and basic manners?"

"Correct. Do all of it and you're good to go."

"Hurr, seems simple enough.."

"Not so fast. I haven't mention that we have other people here."

"Nowaki Kusama. Dancer. Keiichi Sumi , composer. And more."

"What about them?"

"what I meant was, they are all excellent at their strength. But to get to the top and win the End Of Year star favorite is the main goal of everyone."

"so, you want me to bring you all the way up there? I expected nothing less from you."

"harh?"

"I will bring you all the way up there. As long as you stay by my side."

"Sure, I'd be most happy" I beamed. For as long as I remembered, it was the first time that I smile with my heart. This man, my manager, is a unique person. For the first time, I was happy.


	2. Chapter 2: My New Manager

"Usami, I'll show you a few examples of how they run here." If there is any phone calls, answer it and then write it down on the schedule. The schedule will be according on a daily basis. You have to stay by my side all the time.

"Yes"

what is with you saying yes so easily, I thought.

" Anything else that I need to take note of?"

" Uhm, not at the moment. Shall we continue tomorrow? It's getting pretty late. Do you have a place to stay?"

"Currently, no. I came here immediately after I was called, so.. I came unprepared."

"oh.. sorry about that. Do you want to stay over at my house for the time being?"

"Is it ok? As in,.. for a stranger to stay at your house."

"Stranger? You're my manager. Of course you're welcome."

"Thank you."

He smiled at me. His smile was so beautiful. My body started heating up in the cold night, I felt my cheeks turning to crimson red. How could I look at him now? It would be so embarrassing. What is happening to me. I am not like this. Usually, I wouldn't feel anything but how is it possible that its happening now.

So many questions are crossing my mind and all of them have no answers.

"uhm, Misaki? Are you day dreaming?"

A shot of reality woke me up.

"uhh yes, I was thinking of something, lets go."

"Thinking? Thinking of what?"

"nothing of your concern."  
Usami looked at me, feeling quite hurt and confused.

I have to cut this feeling away. Or else, history will repeat itself.

"Here we are. What are you doing outside? Come in."

"Sorry for the intrusion."

"Please, I invited you in."

I toured my new manager around my humble home. He was pretty surprised of how everything was so neat. I mean, that is a compliment but not every man is messy what's so surprising about it. He told me that he lived alone, away from his family even though their family was very wealthy. When I asked him why, he kept quiet. I didn't mean to step on mines you know. Why is this man away from his family and still single? Moreover, why am I feeling like that?!

"Usami, do you mind sleeping in the guest room? I prepared the futons and extra clothes for you. If you need anything, feel free to ask me."

" Then, can I sleep with you tonight? You said I can ask for anything."

" well uhm..." My cheeks heated up like a stove and puffs of hot air rise out of my ears. What is wrong with him?!

" Hahaha! To think you would react like that. I'm just kidding. See you tomorrow. Oyasumi." With that he retreated into his room.

I stood there, stunned. My heart beating really fast. The thoughts of us sleeping together drove me wild. My mind could no longer control my heart any longer. It was beating so fast. This extraordinary heat. It felt hot but it wasn't burning. What is wrong with me?!

I woke up with the sunshine facing my face. Oh, I slept with yesterday clothes on. How improper. As I was about to move. I found myself stuck in a middle of a heavy thing on my body. I wonder how I slept. I turned my body around with great force. I swear, this thing is going to get it from me. I caught sight of a familiar silver hair at the corner of my eye. That was how far I could turn. Then did I notice a foreign around my waist. Don't tell me,..

"USAMI!"

"urgh... what is it. Its so early in the morning."

"WHAT are you doing in my bed!? AND it isn't early anymore!"

"I was lonely last night and suzuki-san is not with me."

"suzuki-san? Who in the world is that?"

"My bear."

The whole room turned silent as I tried to digest what he just said. A teddy bear? A grown man sleeping with a bear, drooling and sleeping like a baby. Pfffffft. I tried to control my laughter. This is way too much in the morning.

"Suzuki-san is no ordinary bear. She is big and cuddly and she understands me."

"... Would you please let go of me, we are going to be late for work! Now would you Please Excuse Me." I stormed off. At least my clothes were intact. Speaking about clothes, Usami wasn't wearing any shirt. I should have taken a look at his a- MISAKI stop this! I can't believe i just thought of that. Sobs. What is wrong with my hormones? Thats right, I had a sex change maybe its time I went for treatment. Darn raging male hormones.

"Usami, after breakfast, we are going to look for teddy bears. The more similar it is to your bear, the better."

"Misaki, you're being too kind. I feel so appreciated."

"I meant indirectly to stay in your own room with suzuki-san number 2."

"Alright, if you insist."

"What's with you agreeing so easily with me?"

"Ain't that evil of you after spending a night with me on the same bed. Your looks when you were sleeping was priceless."

"Thats it Usami! We are getting you a teddy bear. No matter what!"


	3. Chapter 3: The Third Party

After breakfast, before leaving the house.

"Akihiko, this is the extra key of the house. I figured that if you are going to stay here for a long time, you'd need it."

"Oh, thank you. I can't ask for more. You've been really considerate of me."

"No no, this is what I am suppose to do for my new manager. We'll be staying together for quite a long time. Shall we go? You might want to test the key before we leave."

"Yeap, sure. Thanks." And he gave me a hug before I walked out the door. When his strong arms tighten around my lean body, I could do nothing but come to a stand still. I couldn't move even if I wanted. For some reason, I really don't want that warm feeling to go away. But what if.. what if he leaves. What am I going to do. I'm scared.

"Misaki...misaki.. Oui."

"Huh..." All I could do is stare blankly at his face.

"Misaki, are you ok? You seem unwell. Your cheeks are red and you feel hot. You want to see a doctor?"

"E-eh? NO nono, I'm fine. We're running late, lets hurry!"

"But, we are 10 minutes before time...Misaki?"

I was already running out of the door towards the lift. Get a grip of yourself Misaki! How could you do such a dump thing in front of him. Idiot idiot idiot. I really suck at controlling myself.

"Misaki, the key's working fine."

"Alright, lets go then."

So many questions. So little answers. Who will answer all my fears. Perhaps, Akihiko is straight. That's right. Akihiko is straight. He's just caring because I'm his bread bowl. This, is not painful.. not painful.

* * *

"Akihiko-san, Misaki, both of you arrived on time. I received a call from Haruhiko-san. He says he want Misaki to do a drink commercial for him. The details are here."

I received the files from the director when I turn around, I felt a strange and unpleasant aura coming from Akihiko. He looked really mad, ready to smash anyone. I saw his fist clenching into a tight ball, his knuckles turning white.

"Akihiko?" Just when I called his name he snapped out of it.

"You look really mad just now, is there anything wrong?"

"Misaki, when is the date?" He totally, ignored my question. |||Orz|||

"Read it yourself." I threw him the files. Am I feeling jealous? I really want to know who made him so mad, his lover? But he is single. So what is he mad at. Certainly, getting mad for me is the last thing a person would do. I'm not loved.

* * *

After training the whole day at the entertainment branch, It was already 5pm. All the time Akihiko just sat there and watch me. What? Was I that nice.. I doubt so. Stupid Akihiko, stop giving me weird ideas. Its cutting my soul.

"Misaki, your dance moves and voice was really great just now!"

"You really think so?"

"Seriously, you have to stop doubting me. Of course I was serious. Do I look like I have other intentions?"

"... sometimes.. kinda. Those dances moves were taught to me. It wasn't really that great."

I turned away from him and started walking but Akihiko hands turned my head around to face him and he kissed me. My heart instantly skipped. His tongue is touching the roof of my mouth. His tasted like strong tobacco but, I loved all of it. I was lost in my mind. My hands moved on its own, slinging it over his neck, bringing us closer for a deeper kiss. This time, I knew. I loved him. Tears wielded in my eyes and tricked down a thin line, across my face. My questions were answered by this man. My manager.

"Misaki, you look beautiful."

"Ahhhh! I forgot we need to buy your teddy bear!"

"E-ehh?"

"Shall we go?" I dragged him along. After all, that was only used to cover my overly beating heart and my flushed face.

"Misaki, I want this."

This bear had really big eyes. Giant bow around its neck and almost as big as me.

"Is this like suziku-san?"

"Yeap, sure is."

"Gigantic. Lets get this then."

As we were just about to walk out the door, Akihiko stopped in his tracks.

"Haruhiko. WHAT are you doing here?!"

"Ehh? Haruhiko? Isn't that our client?"

"Hello, Akihiko. I had a business meeting here. Its a coincidence to meet you here and Takahashi-san, you look so cute holding that bear. did Akihiko bought it for you?

Akihiko had a brother ?! How come I didn't know of it. Uh, I shouldn't know either. If Akihiko wanted to tell me, he would have told me long ago.

"Haruhiko, stop fooling around with Misaki. Stop blocking the way and let us leave."

By that time, the whole shop was looking at us.

"Akihiko. Should we get going. Everyone's looking." I tugged his hand.

"I'll let you go today Akihiko. See you soon."

"Don't you ever come near Misaki. I will never forgive you! Come on, lets go."

Akihiko was clutching my wrist tightly, the expression on his face was just pure evil. I'm confused. Why is Akihiko so mad? Its not like I'm a jewel or anything right.

"Misaki. Be-careful around Haruhiko. He is a demon. When the day comes that you have to do the commercial, I can't be there because the director wants me present at the company to do some arrangements."

"Yes, but why?"

"You don't have to know."

D-don't have to know?! Who does he thinks is he?! My safety is the most important. Whatever. So much so for the kiss. I felt so dejected, like he was indirectly telling me to stay out of his affairs. If I was really treasured by him, I should know all of it. Stupid Jerk.

* * *

"Akihiko. You sleep in your own room today. You have suzuki-san impostor now. You understand me?"

Akihiko just sat at the couch, lighting his cigarette, looking deep in thought. Well, if he doesn't want me to know, Fine Then. I went back to my room and closed the door behind me. I heard Akihiko fists hit the table. For the first time, I hear him lost his mind. Who is this haruhiko jerk towards him. My chest hurt so much I could barely breathe. My legs found no strength to stand. my back slided down the door. For the first time, I felt helpless. Why is this man, giving me so many confused emotions. Why?! Why is it so painful to be beside him. Save me.. usagi-san

The day of the commercial shooting began. Akihiko dropped me off at Haruhiko place and went on his way. I will find the truth between both of them. I need to clear these emotions. I will solve my own confusions. Sorry usagi-san but I'm not listening to you.


	4. Chapter 4: My Feeling Is Love

"Ahh Misaki, you have arrived. Just on time, everyone is present here, we are waiting for you."

"Sorry for the wait. What time are we starting?"

"We can start now actually. Assistant! Help Misaki with his clothes."

What was I thinking. Usagi nii-chan seems kind enough. I don't understand why usagi-san doesn't like him. Whatever, I should just put this behind me. Sheesh, I'm thinking too much.

Photographer: "Misaki, turn your face to the left a little then lift it higher."

"Like this?"

"YES! That's right."

commercial: "Jasmine green tea(winks one eye), refreshing(flying kiss). Try it.(commercial ends)"

After what seems like a million years, we are all done with this commercial. Is it me or when I was filming, Usagi nii-chan kept looking in my direction. Weird.. maybe, maybe its just me thinking too much. I got to hurry back to usagi-san. Why am I feeling the need to go back to his side. When I'm not by his side, I miss him so much. My insides ache and everything seems bitter but when I go back to his side, I feel at peace and feel so safe. Nande...nande. Imi wakarimasen...nande.

"Misaki! After changing, care to go out with me for a while? To celebrate your commercial success."

"uhm, sure..let me tell my manager first."

Calls usagi-san:

"usagi-san! I'm going out to celebrate with usagi-san nii-chan. I won't be back till late at night."

"Misaki. What did I tell you about seeing him alone? Get home right now!"

"Usagi-san, you are being too paranoid. I'll be fine. See you later."

"Misaki!"

-calls ends-

"ahh, low battery.. damn, I should have charged it. Usagi-san is gonna scold me. Not like I care.."

"Lets go misaki. Where do you want to go?"

"hmm, anywhere. Shall we have yakiniku and sake?"

"sure, lets go."

"OIiSHIIIII! Zettai OISHI!"

"You love it? Then eat up more" usagi nii-chan smiled at me gently.. Come to think about it. Usagi-san and usagi nii-chan don't really look alike..

"Usagi nii-chan. You don't really look like usagi-san though both of you are from the same family."

"Ah, we had alot of problems."

"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to.."

"Its ok." Again, he smiled at me gently...

"kampai!"

"Thanks for treating me. I really appreciate it. I..."

"Misaki! Misaki!"

I collapsed.

Where is Misaki.. I knew I should have forced him to come back. Now his phone is contactable. Damn that Haruhiko. I'm sure he did something to Misaki. Its already 5am in the morning ! No matter how rebellious Misaki is, he will never come home at such a late hour. The problem is. He Isn't Back Yet. Argh.

Calls Haruhiko:

" HARUHIKO! Where is Misaki?! He isn't back home yet!."

"Saa.. I'm not sure.. probably. On the bed, in my room. His sleeping face is so innocent. Makes me want to ruin it. Akihiko. I will take away Misaki from you. You don't deserve him by your side. You don't inherit the family line anymore ever since you left the home. I am the one who is more capable of raising him properly. Don't worry, I'll make sure he does exceedingly well in the entertainment industry. My way."

"Haruhiko! Don't you dare lay hands on him. I'm coming over right now."

"Don't bother coming, I don't intend to let you have him. Well, if you come too late, I might make him mine."

-call end-

"Haruhiko! Haruhiko!" Shit. Damn this. Misaki... wait for me. I'm coming.

-Door slams open-

"Haruhiko! Show yourself!"

"Hrr, so you really came despite me telling you not to."

"What makes you think that I would back down from a coward like you?!"

"Whatever. So what you going to do now? Bash me up? Report me?"

"I want my Misaki back!"

"No."

"Then I have no choice. I found Misaki first. You have no rights to keep taking what belongs from me. Ever since young, you have been the apple of the family line. Isn't that enough?!"

"Everything that belongs to you, I will take it away."

"I will not allow it!"

Akihiko: At that point of time, I lost my mind and punched Haruhiko in his face. All I could think of is Misaki. This is all my fault. If misaki got hurt, I will never be able to forgive myself. Misaki.. misaki.. My eyes started crying. My heart was in so much pain. I only lived for him. Misaki.. Aishiteru. Don't leave me.

"Damn that people faces like that. Misaki is mine!"

Akihiko: The door is locked. Misaki is inside. I know he is ! Misaki! Misaki! Can you hear me ?! All i could hear was murmurs. Don't tell me, Haruhiko drugged him. Unforgiveable... UNFORGIVEABLE! I was so angry and desperate. I was frightened that I would lose him like how I lost my family love. I used all my strength that my body could gain and knocked the door down. And there I saw him, Kneeling on the bed, whispering.. usagi-san.. usagi-san..

"Misaki.. Gomen! I'm here now. Its ok." Then I realised, misaki was stripped down to his pantsu and had hickeys all over his neck and chest. At that point of time, I lost my thoughts. Misaki suffered this because of me, because of my negligence towards him.

"Misaki. I'm sorry. I love you. Please, forgive me. I never wanted this to happen."

"Usagi-san. Save me.. I can't move. My body feels weird."

"Its ok now, I'm here. Lets get you home."

"Not so fast!"

All I could think of is Misaki's condition. His body is reacting strongly against the drug.

"Akihiko, don't take another step out of the room. Or else I won't go easy on you."

"Haruhiko.. This is your last chance to stay out of the way."

Haruhiko: What is this dominance Akihiko is having. Its frightening. Never once I saw him this irritated. I remembered once when i provoked him. My injuries weren't light at all. This time, it seems worse than before. If i get hurt now,it would be all over the news tomorrow when I go to a conference with the president of the famous hotel.

-haruhiko moved aside-

"Seems like your work and pride is more important than Misaki. This proves that you have absolutely no rights to be with him. From now on he is mine. You better not come near him anymore. Or else, I won't go easy on you anymore.

"Usagi-san.. I want to go home." I grabbed his shirt and sobbed in his chest.

"Yes, my love."

Haruhiko:  
"FUCK!" I slammed my fist against the wall.  
"Misaki..."


	5. Chapter 5: Fate Reveals Itself

/note/ I used smaller cases for the start of a sentence to mimic a gentle speaking voice.

/note/ Misaki had implants (advanced technology,cloning)

/note/ Even if Misaki had implants, he is still a woman inside.

"Misaki. I know I should have said this earlier to prevent this from happening."

"..yes?" my body is still weak from the drug and my head leaning against his chest. Its so warm. I can hear his heart beating. And I felt so happy with that.

"Misaki.. I love you. I have always been since i saw you on television."

"Usagi-san.. I love you too. I was scared to tell you because of how I was hurt last time."

"I won't make you cry anymore like how the rest did."

For the first time, I felt at peace. Warmth engulfed me instantly. My eyes became watery. Finally, the burden that haven been inside me for the whole time, is lifted by this man. Now, my lover.

"Usagi-san.. I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I changed sex before. I'm not a real male. Do you still want me..?

I saw usagi-san face a little stunned and for that few seconds I thought all of it was going to be gone. But he smiled and look at me passionately.

"Isn't that great? We can have children of our own."

I, misaki takahashi did not know what he had done in his past life to deserve such happiness. Now, there are no chains binding me down, no more burdens to carry. God, I love this man.

"..ahh, usagi-san. not in the car. what if someone sees.."

"Its alright, its at night now. No one will see."

"..Misaki...Misaki.. don't let anyone touch you ever..again. Only me, Usami Akihiko, can touch you.."

His eyes stared into mine with lust, his eyes were gothic purple and had a unique sparkle to it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him in for a passionate kiss. Usagi-san tongue, gently licking my lips and inserting his tongue to the back of my throat. I could taste him. Strong tobacco hint to his saliva.. it was arousing me. The scent on his body is turning me on high. Everything about him is making me crazy. I want him so much. Now... now.

"usagi-san, I want you now."

"not yet my love. be patient."

He stroke my thighs and kiss my inner thigh closest to my manhood. Every touch of his is arousing me more and more. The tip of my manhood was leaking with pre-cum.. I couldn't wait any longer but usagi-san is taking his own sweet time, savoring every piece of me like a previous gem... His fingernail ran up from the bottom of my sperm sacks to the tip of my shaft, drawing out more pre-cum. My breath was getting heavy. The heat in the car is rising. Condensation is occurring on the windows. My thighs were shaking from the climax of his touch.

"...Misaki...Misaki... the position you are in now, is seducing every part of me right now."

"..u..u..usagi..san...I, can't...anymor..e"

"..no..you can't.. not until I say yes."

usagi-san licked pre-cum off my shaft. I could hardly hold back anymore. His hands held my thigh up, his thumb, circling my inner thigh. usagi-san mouth engulfed my whole manhood. His hands rubbed my sacks.

"usagi..san.." he just kept milking my shaft. I clutch the handle by the door, turning my knuckles white. Pleasure went straight up to my head and I lost control of my whole body. I released everything in his mouth..

"you taste good, my devil." misaki looked so vulnerable, lying in front of me, showing his everything. His sweaty skin and energy drained body from the blowjob. He looks.. beautiful.

"Now, for the Main Course."

usagi-san threw off his shirt. As he raised his hands.. I saw his manhood bulging, trying to escape from the crammed space of his trousers. I raised my body and clung my fingers on his trousers.

"usagi-san, here, looks really painful. let me help you.."

I unzipped his pants and his manhood slipped out of his underwear. usagi-san groaned in pain. His manhood was large. There's no way that thing is fitting into me ! My fingers can't even go round it !

"u..u..usagi-san, do you want me to release if for you?"

Without any warning, usagi-san flipped me over and slipped 2 fingers in my rear.

"..aHHH..u..usagi..san... gentle...gentle.."

"bear with it for a while misaki.. "

He kissed my back and circled his thumb around my hips, helping me to relax. His fingers scissors, stretching my rear to its maximum.

"ahh... hah...hah..." It felt weird at first, like something pushing me up. Like something invading my body

"Misaki, you are a man and a woman but you can't give birth on your own.. interesting."

He pulled out his fingers from my rear and coated his length with my cum.

"bear with this... misaki... "

I felt his head entering my rear. without warning, he slammed into me and started moving, without giving me time to adjust to his overgrown shaft!

I was completey stretched open.

The pain was unbearable...

"AHHHHH...Ah...ah...ah..usagi-san... gentle! ItaI!" I felt as though a 4cm diameter penis was entering me.

Usagi-san was panting heavily. Gritting his teeth every time his length thrust-ed into mine, his hands were grabbing my thighs, perspiration dripping down his forehead and coating his whole body. Wet sexy body. His scent..

"Ah..Ugh...Ugh." Misaki body's shivering under me. I can see his woman hood from here... his blushing face and pre cum leaking out of his length is driving me insane. Pain and pleasure.

* * *

"usagi-san..I..I can't hold any longer" my hands were gripping the car handle tightly. The insane pleasure and pain..

"no, we come together.." He grabbed the hilt of my shaft and squeezed it tight.

"nono ..baka usagi,I can't..." my sacks were in pain from his grip. My legs were shaking uncontrollably. The more I moved, the more I climaxed and the tighter he grips. If i don't release now.. it ain't good for me !

"tell me you love me.."

"...*pants*..*pants*... I..can't..."

"say it... or I won't let you come"

"..I..I..love you. I love you..usagi-san"


End file.
